Well Brain is turning to mush, i have no idea of the time or the day. It could be tues or sat and i have no idea. Can't remember the simplest things. having trouble doing simple multitasks. Getting the jitters. IDK if its nicotine or sugar or salt but something has got me on edge. Brain malfunctions are causing body malfunctions.
Hands shaking.
Constant suicidal thoughts
Find myself holding a blade at my wrists everynight, and every day wishing for a bullet to the chest. Constantly having to hold myself back from jumping infront of "L" trains. The nicotine helps alot though.
that is what i have been supressing for over 3 years now
But its not working as well and the symptoms are arising again.
Just to not have a racing heart and wicked mind
I am going through 15 cigs a day now
now i am normal but i am smoking like a gun
cant sleep, when i do i dont feel rested and my dreams are bizarre in a way like never before.
Although i havent had a smoke in about 17 hours and i feel perfectly normal and fine. I guess i am not as addicted as i thought.
My girlfriend lost the baby; some guys who live next door to her broke into her place while she was upstairs she didnt hear them and she ended up with bruised ribs. My daughter is gone and i feel.... So.... idk....
Wake up you pillows, read my mind then write your own mind, reveal the infinity of the loop.
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